Kimbo
08-28-2015, 01:06 AM
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck!
Did you hear about the depressed dyslexic? He threw himself behind a bus.
Neurotics build castles in the sky. Psychotics live in them. Psychiatrists collect the rent.
Did you hear about the Indian who drank 12 gallons of Lipton's? They found him the next day, dead in his tea-pee.
A.S.A.P. = Always Say A Prayer
Creativity is no substitute for knowing what you're doing.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
The linguist's husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, "Why, Susan, I'm surprised." She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, "No. I am surprised. You are astonished."
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck!
Did you hear about the depressed dyslexic? He threw himself behind a bus.
Neurotics build castles in the sky. Psychotics live in them. Psychiatrists collect the rent.
Did you hear about the Indian who drank 12 gallons of Lipton's? They found him the next day, dead in his tea-pee.
A.S.A.P. = Always Say A Prayer
Creativity is no substitute for knowing what you're doing.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
The linguist's husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, "Why, Susan, I'm surprised." She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, "No. I am surprised. You are astonished."
